Mello's Withdrawal
by Dimpot
Summary: Mello always has chocolate with him, no matter what... minus the fact that he ate his last one and Wammy's ran out. Oh god, angry Mello with no chocolate. Crack one shot.


**Mello's Withdrawal**

It was a boring Saturday in the Wammy house, around noon. Near was in the play room making Megatron and Optimus Prime fight, Matt was engrossed in his gameboy playing the newest Super Mario Bros game, and it was one of those rare times when L was home and taking a small break from his detective duties as he ate strawberry cake. And Mello? Our favorite blonde was finishing the last bit of his chocolate bar in his room. He took one last bite of the sweet delicacy and decided to fetch another. The 14 year old went under his bed and took out a very very small mini fridge and opened it. Once he did, boy was he upset. In his secret stash, there was nothing to stash! Unkowingly he had eaten the last bar and was now paying the price for being greedy.

"Calm down Mello, there's always more chocolate in the kitchen." He assured himself as he walked out of his room in a trance with wide eyes. He didn't even say anything to Near or Matt as he walked through the playroom to enter the kitchen.

"Hey dude, what's got your leather pants in a bunch?" Matt joked, but the smile was off of his face when he ignored him. Brushing it off, Matt decided that if he wasn't going to talk to him, then he would ignore him as well. Near continued playing with the action figures and only listened to the red head's occasional shouts of victory from his game. Mello entered the kitchen and nobody was there, luckily for him.

"Chocolate, chocolate." He muttered repeatedly to himself as he rummaged the fridge. Scowling when he didn't find it, he then checked every single one of the cupboards. Soon, he went from angry, to depressed, to worried, to full out panic mode when he didn't even find any of the sweet goodness in any form. He would have been happy if it was anything with chocolate, be it donuts, cake, hot chocolate, or even chocolate spread, but he sadly didn't find any. With the twitch of his eye, he walked into another room and found Watari and L there, conversing. The two looked up and were confused as of why Mello looked in panic and distress.

"Where's the chocolate?" He finally said in his no nonsense voice.

"Oh, we ran out of choco-" Watari couldn't even finish that for Mello had ran away, his hands up in the air and shouts flowing from his mouth. The two older men looked at each other and continued to speak.

"MATT! MAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT! THERE'S NO MORE! THEY RAN OUT!" He shouted, hands flailing around him as he stood in front of his best friend. Matt didn't even bother to look up, for he was still angry at him being ignored a few moments ago.

"Didn't you hear me man, they ran out of the CHOCOLATE! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, GOD DAMNIT!" Mello ripped the gameboy out of his hands and Matt stood staring at his gloves, eyes slowly narrowing into slits. Now, one thing you NEVER do is rip a Gameboy out of Matt's hands. Especially not when he's on the final level. Especially not when he was finally defeating Bowser after dying around 12 times.

"Give. Back. The Gameboy." He said, scarily calm.

"No, dude! They ran out of CHOCOLATE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?" Matt glared and opened his mouth to shout a string of cuss words to his best friend, but Near spoke up first.

"Chocolate isn't everything, you know. Just wait until the next batch comes, it should be in a few hours." The white haired twelve year old stated, now building a scyscraper made out of dice. He only had a few up, but a giant box of dice was next to him.

"Chocolate isn't everything? CHOCOLATE ISN'T EVERYTHING? YOUR FACE ISN'T EVERYTHING! HOW ABOUT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR DICE, YOU FREAKIN' GAMBLER!" He screamed, making Near stop in his tracks before proceding to build the scyscraper again.

"Building stuff out of dice isn't gambling, Mello. Gambling is-"

"Shut up, nerd! I know what gambling is, and that's what you're doing! I should tell L about this!"

"If I am a nerd then you are a complete dork since you spend so much time studying to surpass me." The younger orphan smirked, Matt backing away since Mello was oozing out a red fog of anger.

"...How did this conversation get away from chocolate? And if you're a gambler then... that means... you have... money. Money. With money you can buy chocolate." Mello had a crazy look in his eyes and immediately pounced Near, making him go on his back.

"Where do you have your money? In your shirt? I'LL RIP IT OFF IF I HAVE TO!" And that is exactly what he did, after throwing the Gameboy console to the ground, Matt catching it just in time. The buttons came loose as he ripped the shirt apart and Near's pale chest was exposed. Matt stifled a laugh as shock came across the younger boy's face, since he usually has an apathetic expression on.

"No money, there's no money... Maybe you stole my chocolate and hid it in your dice!" Mello got off of the dazed boy and crawled to the bag of dice, holding it over his head with his mouth wide open. The dice fell on his face and a few actually made it in his mouth. He chewed and bit, but found it useless and sighed, spitting it out.

"Chocolate I found you!" Mello began going in hysterics and crawled on his stomach, not caring about the rug burn he was getting, and grabbed his chocolate bar. He chewed the top of it, rolling on his back and wiggling in excitement as he nibbled it.

"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF OF BUMBLEBEE YOU-" Near was so angry that he couldn't finish his insult and jumped on Mello's stomach, making him spit out Bumblebee's head.

"Mello, calm down! You're going crazy!" Matt shook Mello's shoulder and he turned his head, wide smile and wide eyes were fixed on Matt's face. The redheaded gamer cringed and slowly stepped back until he was near the door leading into the kitchen.

"L! Watari! MELLO'S LOST IT!" He ran through the kitchen and stopped when he saw L about to eat a cake. A _chocolate_ cake. Three layers of chocolatey goodness with white chocolate chips, fudge drizzling, filled with chocolate pudding, and chocolate sprinkles was over the whipped cream (which was also the only thing not chocolate). L stood still, and only had his fork in hand, hovering over his delicious cake. After shaking his head, Matt found himself being rammed by someone and slow recognition went on his dazed face.

"Mello, calm down. That's L's cake, don't eat it oka-"

"CHOCOLATE!" Mello pushed L on the floor and shoved all the utensils aside, also dropping them on the floor. One knife pinned L's white shirt to the floor, making him not able to get up.

"Oh my sweet, WE ARE UNITED!" He stuffed his face in it and shook his head, going through the three layers.

"It's so good!" He slurred, grabbing handfuls of it and rubbing it on his body.

"Hey, this is Wammy's orphanage right?" The men asked, dressed in delivery uniforms and not caring about the shocked redhead, pinned L, or chocolate covered Mello.

"Yes, I'm assuming you guys are delivering the special delivery?"

"Yep." One man went to tell the others to bring it in and the one left remaining put a clipboard in front of L, who signed it quickly and five men came back in, carrying what seemed to be a... chocolate fountain. And not one of those that were the size of a wastebasket, it was one the size of a hot tub and about five feet tall. They dropped it and left, leaving Mello to drool over it. With one intake of breath, he looked into the sky and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"THANK YOU! I KNEW YOU THOUGHT I WAS A GOOD BOY, SANTA!" He then ran full speed across the large kitchen and jumped into it, looking like a brown oompa loompa.

"I'm in heaven~" He slurred, feeling as if he was... he didn't even know how he felt, just pure bliss. He opened his mouth to an inhuman length and felt the chocolate quickly fill it, as it spilled over his cheeks.

"This can't be real, it's too good!" He gargled, chocolate being everything he felt, saw, heard, smelled, and tasted. Especially tasted.

"It's because it isn't." A mysterious voice whispered.

"Wha-What do you mean? Of course this is real!" He looked at the top to see a vanilla twinkie glaring at him.

"No it isn't, and you never loved me! It was always chocolate this and chocolate that, why can't I have a special place in your heart and stomach?" Mello looked from his chocolate covered hands, to the twinkie, and back. Before he could say anything, all went black.

**BAM!**

"AHHH!" He shouted, standing upright and clutching his pounding chest.

"Mello, what's wrong?" Matt asked, half awake since his roommate woke him up in the middle of the night.

"N-Nothing, I just had a really messed up dream..."

"It was just a dream, go back to bed." He nodded and fell back in his bed, Matt already asleep. He thought of everything that happened over the time he was asleep and sighed, staring at the roof.

"Man, that was a wierd dream." He said aloud to himself.

"Ugh, tell me about it. As wierd as my first night in Vegas." A familiar voice said as well. Wide eyed Mello turned his head to where their alarm clock was and saw a vanilla twinkie on top of it.

"NOOOOOO!"

The twinkie's eyes gleamed red and an evil smirk went on it's lips,

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA~"


End file.
